新着

I suppose every adult that goes into full-time study has this introspective feeling nearly everyday. Perhaps it’s the bombardment of new information, the loneliness of newfound independence, or just sheer procrastination mixed with exhaustion from studying. I just didn’t think I would have these emotions; after all, I am considered a “mature” student because I’m not fresh out of forced education.

So now I find myself where most modern University students find themselves: pouring my heart onto the internet in hopes some stranger will read my words and maybe feel something. I mean, why not catalogue my every emotion and experience onto some blog site? I wouldn’t do so on a social media site, because God forbid a family member or friend be legitimately concerned or, *gasp!*, get to know who I truly am. No, I definitely can’t have that; unconcerned strangers, or even no one at all, is better than that horror.

The issue I always face when attempting to do this is my lack of consistency or motivation to continue to post. Sometimes my depressive nature takes hold and convinces me that there is no point- that it is a waste of energy (whilst whispering to me that staring at the ceiling wishing I would turn to dust and be swept under the rug is, somehow, a better way to spend my time). Other times it’s just my genuinely forgetful nature, lack of discipline, and attention-span issues. Embarrassment of my thoughts ever being actually read, cared about, or discovered is an issue as well. In fact, I am currently changing browser tabs or switching windows every time my significant other enters the room as it is. There is some truth in the idea that writer’s block is caused by anxiety of a reader’s opinion.

Either way, this post only exists as some sort of explanation for my actions: an attempt to explain my existence on this site or to explain why any of my future posts will be inconsistent (if I even post anymore after today) and possibly incomprehensible. After all, journaling has never been my strong suite.